Some people find rules comforting. To those who like rules saying that, “Rules can be freeing” would have a natural appeal.
For people who profess to hate rules, this may seem like a contradiction of terms.
But we all, both likers and haters of rules, make rules for ourselves, or sometimes accept rules through habit of thought or action.
Consider the rules you live by. Often they are announced in your mind by “should” or “must”. Are they the ones you want? Perhaps you could consider this… when you think a “should” or a “must” and feel annoyed or reluctant, you make a rule of examining it. Now surely that is freeing!
Rules can take the worry out of thinking what to do and what to say. Do you need to introduce some rules into your life…to help you…in difficult situations perhaps. A common example of this is the difficulty people have of saying,”no”. A rule you could introduce is…just a suggestion…” Can I let you know later…” This gives you time to consider where the request sits with your values and to word a kind response if it doesn’t suit you to do what is requested.
Values need to be the guide in any new rules. You know what is important to you…make rules to help you live the life you want. Some examples may be: “I…my family… my health…come first,” “I will take up offers of doing things [if you want to be more involved), “I will make a list each day of things I need to remember to do”(this…if you want to change a habit of being forgetful).
Initially these new rules may feel strange and even wrong. You may need to remind yourself of why you are introducing that particular rule. A good way of doig this is to reduce the concept to a single word or a phrase which encapsulates it. “I matter”, New way”, “Family first”…just a few examples of reminders.
I‘m sure you can think of other new rules you may like to introduce once you accept their benefits.These rules become habits and soon become automatic. You no longer think, you just do, but they are rules of your choice…THEY FREE YOU TO BE YOU!
Are there rules you need to create in your life…think about it?
Have a great week?
LIDIA